Posted Feb 19 2018
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BAFTA Watch - LastWord Live Blogs The BAFTAs 2018

So here we are. It’s 2018. It’s the BAFTAs. Will it be #metoo, #timesup, #toosoon, or even #BaftaSoDunkirk?

Will it be Lumley or Fry? OK, we know that one – it’s Lumley. But will she use smaller words than Fry? Undoubtedly. (And thankfully.)

Will everyone wear black? (Will the BBC’s pre-show bring along a fashion reporter to talk about the frocks? Did they not get the memo??)

Will anyone mention Harvey, Trump, Spacey, Louis CK, Rolf Harris?

Will Emma Watson ever crack a smile again?

Can anyone upset Gary Oldman or Frances McDormand?

Will Get Up prove just how woke these British folk have become?

Do the British actually think Three Billboards is a British film?

All of these questions and more will be answered in the next couple of hours or so from the glittering – and decidedly round – Royal Albert Hall in London.

And we start with..? What? Some random British musical act that has nothing to do with the movies? (Done that before. Stormzy – stay seated!) That bunch of badly costumed Cirque du Soleil green people that crawled along the red carpet earlier, before anyone had arrived? (Please dear God – not again!)

No, it’s Lumley doing a Billy Crystal and intercutting her way into the movies. Choice! Love that Stalin got her number!

(Oh No - they've gone back to Cirque. Worse still - they got the dreaded one-note Dermot to introuduce it.)

And then the blessed Joanna takes the stage. No one’s expecting stand up but we all know how witty and wise the woman can be. (Just not too many Patsy’s, OK darling?)

And what a blinder she plays - first the lippy, then the quippy (Stop mentioning The Shape Of Water – like it’s a done deal.) Leads with the Suffragettes, gets to Time’s Up – and she said she wasn’t doing political.

Gary Oldman is Wonder Woman. Sally Hawkins is Paddington’s hero. Frances McDormand is a tour de force. (No jokes there.) Daniel Kaluuya gets name-checked and there are no toilet breaks. Again – not joking!

And Daniel Day Lewis - he actually showed up! And made Joanna's frock.

Angelina Jolie didn't like her joke - Hugh Grant did. 

And then the clippage before our first presenters.

And we start off with Outstanding British Film and “the hottest actress on the planet” is here to announce. Yes, it’s Jennifer Lawrence. If Three Billboards wins here – who knows what can happen next.

– and yes, Three Billboards is a British film! Brilliant win. Does that clear the decks for everyone else? Is the path open for the big Dunkirk comeback we so confidently predicted? Or could Three Billboards do the double? Or are things still likely to take Shape another way? (Enough with the shit puns already!)

And it’s time for the EE Rising Star thing – and here to announce are Margot Robbie and Octavia Spencer. It has to be Kaluuya surely?…and it is. Won people over on his recent Graham Norton appearance, and does it again here (Time’s Up badge in place.) “London City Hello.”  Makes the case for "Arts Funding within the United Kingdom." Good man. Thanked his mum - but really well!

Next we have Best Adapted Screenplay, delivered by Gugu Mbatha-Raw and Orlando Bloom. And, yes, like you, we thought he was dead. But James Ivory is back – he’s kicking arse and he’s picking up BAFTAs! Well done sir for the delicious work he did on the equally delicious Call Me By Your Name.

Supporting Actor – it’s a biggie. So who else could present it than the “peerless” Lupita Nyong’o (or anyone else who happens to be around for the Black Panther junket this weekend.) Hugh Grant or Sam Rockwell??

Go Sam. Funniest racist in years. Been “a journeyman actor all my life.” Nice destination, sir. And well earned. Got a bit political, then “This is for my pal Alan Rickman. I’ll see you as the bar.”(We had that one by the way.)

Then Toby Jones and Rebecca Feguson show up to announce Production Design - and the BAFTA goes to The Shape Of Water. (Didn't have that one - is the fix in??) One of the PDs forgot which studio he had worked for - well, there are so many buy outs these days. 

FX time - and if it doesnt go to War For, well. Karen Gillan and Taron Egerton struggle with a bad script, but it goes to...Blade Runner 2049. What? No Apes?? Just seems wrong. 

Next up Lily James and Gemma Arterton hand the best Debut BAFTA to I Am Not A Witch. They appear to be surprised.

 

Joanna does a bit of a rubbish gag about wrong envelopes being left on stage (once again with the creeping Cirques.) Bryan Cranston comes out and does an even worse “Brit” gag before giving the best Supporting Actress gong to Alison Janney. Love Janney (loved Metcalfe more this year) but we thought this was skewering in a Brit way (i.e. Kristen.) Guess Janney’s A Life In Pictures talk really worked. Terrible dress (what was she thinking? – Can you still say that??) but nice speech.

 

And then – to In Memoriam. In which you will see people that you know.

 

At which point Joanna moves onto Sound. Sam Claflin and Will Poulter do the honours – and seriously, is Dunkirk ever going to make its move?? Well, apparently yes. Here’s it’s first moment of the evening. (Still, Chris Nolan seems to be seated a bit far back for a sweep..?)

 

Another double bill of British actors to present Best Original Screenplay –
Rachel Weisz and Nicholas Hoult.  Last seen together on screen in About A Boy – he’s taller than her now. (Come on Gerwig.) And it’s Martin McDonagh for Three Billboards. Could this be the sweep? It’s still looking unpredictable…to the end…

 

Piece of information – Daniel Day Lewis’ impressive bald head is not sweating.

 

Which it may have been as Salma Hayek comes out to “celebrate men.” She’s here to announce the Gary Oldm…sorry, Best Actor Award. And it’s…Gary Old…well actually it’s…Frances McDormand?? (No, just Salma’s joke) – Gary Oldman.  As gracious as you’d expect him to be – expect to hear something different in a couple of weeks’ time. (Although Winston will surely get another shout out.)

 

Chiwetel Ejiofor is here for the Frances McDor…sorry, Best Actress Award. And yes, it’s a deserved win for Ms McDormand. Terrific stuff. She has “a little trouble with compliance.” Supports the black dress thing – very rare political comment this evening. “Who would have thought that Marge Gunderson would grow up to be Mildred Hayes...? Power to the people.”

 

Now Patrick Stewart (he was shit in The Emoji Movie) and Naomi Harris (she wasn’t) are here to present Best Director. And Guillermo – we called it wrong. It’s all yours. Well done sir (although you should’ve won it for Pacific Rim. What? Controversial??) The man ate a lot of black pudding yesterday apparently. Thanked Powell & Pressburger and more. And “the miracle that is Sally Hawkins.” Referenced Charlie Chaplin, Stan Laurel and Mary Shelley – beats thanking your agent!

 

The “utterly fabulous” Daniel Craig shows up (minus the Bond theme) to present Best Film. And it’s Three Billboards all the way – does the double. Wow! No complaints from us though (already had it pegged to take the Oscar.)

 

And then – Sir Ridders. Prince Williams kicks it off, but Ken Branagh steps in to give Ridley Scott his long deserved Fellowship. Scott himself takes the stage after suitable clippage to make his speech. Is he going to be grumpy? Maybe a little - “Big boys don’t get upset and I’m quite upset right now. Forty years in this business and they’ve never given me anything.” But mostly well meaning…if a little rambling, despite his cue cards.   

 

Also winning tonight – for Editing - Edgar Wright was smiling – Baby Driver has it and we have no problem with this immaculate piece of celluloid cutting walking tall with a golden face.

 

Costume Design went to Phantom Thread. We had that one – like it could be anything else? A movie in which costume reflected and informed character – now that’s rare. Expect an Oscar repeat.

 

Best Music – We’d been torn on this all season – Zimmer for Dunkirk? Greenwood for Phantom Thread? But both our choices are scuppered by the brilliant Alexander Desplat for The Shape Of Water. No denying Desplat has done some remarkable work over the last few years (we were lucky enough to sit in on a master class with the man a few years back) so this is well deserved.

 

Cinematography – Roger Deakins – JUSTICE!!!

 

Animated – Coco – we knew it

 

Documentary – I Am Not Your Negro is in fact your winner

 

Film Not In The English Language – The Handmaiden – a pleasant surprise

 

Make Up And Hair – So, Gary’s fat suit? Or Judi’s fat suit? And the winner is…Gary’s fat suit. (Yes, we know there’s more to it than that.) And it’s a more than deserving win.

 

So there you have it. Another year down. Joanna tips the nod to Stephen Fry and it’s over – the BAFTA ceremony that has more or less completely foreshadowed the Oscars in all the main categories. Expect to see repeat business on March 4 for Oldman, McDormand, Rockwell, Janney, Guillermo and Three Billboards for Best Picture…but that’s a column for another day.

 

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