Posted Mar 12 2016
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The Divergent Series: Allegiant - This Film Completely Fails To Rock. Not Even Close Mate...

Dir: Robert Schwentke

Starring Shailene Woodley, Theo James, Miles Teller, Jeff Daniels, Ansel Elgort, Naomi Watts, Zoe Kravitz, Maggie Q

So three movies in to the whole Divergent/Insurgent/Let’s Call the Whole Thing Off thingy and we’re finally over the wall and into the desert. No, hang on, that was the second Maze Runner, wasn’t it? Yes, but it’s this as well.

And then Katniss gets her bow and arrow back – no, sorry, again that was The Hunger Games – so easy to get confused. This is the one in which Shailene Woodley reminds us that whilst she is quite good – her YA series really isn’t up to much. Come on, it co-stars Ansel Elgort who we’re pretty sure is the literal definition of a charisma vacuum (Edgar Wright – what were you thinking??)

 So here’s the advice we have to offer the world – don’t see this, it’s just dull. (And is it just us – or has this been chucked out with hardly any fanfare? Almost like they knew how bad it was??)

A quick word to all you Millennials out there - Way back in 1967 William F. Nolan and George Clayton Johnson wrote a terrific book named Logan’s Run. It predates the whole notion of “Young Adult fiction” and was ghettoised as “just” science fiction. They made a film of it in 1975 which was by no means as good as the book, in which anyone hitting the age of 21 was – essentially – put to death by the state. (It was written at the time of all things hippy, don’t forget.) But it remains the archetype of just about every piece of dystopian teen future-fiction since. True, Hunger Games added Battle Royale to the mix. But the fact remains that in this increasingly expansive genre – Logan’s Run (the book, not the film) has never been bettered. Bryan Singer has been trying to make a new movie of it, more accurate to the novel, for several years now. He even went as far as getting the great Guy Hendix Dyas to work up some designs for it.

The short version of this – don’t waste your time, your money or two hours of your life you will never get back on this pile of poo. (Even Jeff Daniels can't save this one.) Wait till Singer gets his thumb out of his arse and delivers the real deal.

Here endeth the lesson!

 

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