Posted Oct 28 2015
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Lastword Live-Blogs The Oscars 2015 - Press REFRESH For Constant Updates

And we’re almost there…mere minutes to go…we’re expecting great things from Neil Patrick Harris…but then so is everyone. We think it will be a big musical moment – but then again, so is everyone. Still think it’s up in the air between the Boy and the Bird for Film and Director (could still go either way on both.) Still a fight  between Keaton and Redmayne (Go Keaton!)

But enough of this speculation…for the 87th time - here we go!

"Best and whitest..." good start...Benedict is drunk - he knows he's lost. Eastwood is no Kanye. Neil and the Frozen writers have gone sentimental as much as witty..and then Anna Kendrick shows up...Gone Girl spolier followed by Jack Black - slags off superhero movies and big box office - Risky.

Great opening - we think he has them!

Oprah is rich! Like American Sniper. (Worked eventually.)

And here comes the JK Simmons Award, sorry, Best Supporting Actor. Lupita Nyong'o - quotes Robin Williams and hands the Oscar to J K (hope he's lost the hat by the time he takes the stage.) He has, he wins - everyone knew that! Nice speech, humble as he has been all awards season. Thanks the missus first. "Above average children" next. Better than just the agent stuff. And "call your parents" message - odd, but sweet.

Neil Patrick Harris has called the Oscars and wants Octavia Spencer to watch his box.

Liam Neeson is here to introduce both The Grand Budapest Hotel and American Sniper. Well, one of them's funny.

Dakata Johnson has made the grade and is here to introduce Best Song nom Lost Stars - Adam Levine and his band are here to play Gregg Alexander's number, which we like, but won't win (will it Legend?)

Neil is back from the adverts and calls them the Dependent Spirit Awards. Then introduces Jennifer Lopez and Chris Pine to talk all things Costume Design - we're calling Grand Budapest...But in the end the award goes to...Grand Budapest - and Wes's technical sweep has begun.

And then comes Reese Wtherspoon complete with bad pun intro - to talk Make Up & Hair - we're calling Grand Budapest...But in the end the award goes to...Grand Budapest - and Wes just keeps going.

Here comes Channing Tatum to say something really generic as he announces the winners of the 3rd annual Oscar search - the WTF??  

Nicole Kidman and Chiwetel Ejiofor are here to present Best Foreign Language Film (after Neil blows the gag on Chewie's name) which they hand to Ida. Poland's first win. Sorry for Wild Tales - but deserved. First less famous person to be played off by orchestra - but good luck to the man, he carries on anyway and wins the crowd.

Shirley MacLaine is here to sing the praises of Boyhood. As well she should. She then also plugs the  scientist in the wheelchair movie. And Birdman (bunching three together - really?)

Neil meets the seat fillers...one of them called Steve (small nose though.) Then introduces Marion Cottilard to introduce Best Song Everything Is Awesom by Tegan and Sara and The Lonely Island. Hand out Lego Oscars to Oprah, Steve Carell and Bradley Cooper - closest they're gonna get tonight!. And why wasn't that Will Atnett as Dark Batman?

And the evening offically goes slow - (cool presenters though) Kerry Washington and Jason Bateman - it's Best Live Action Short - and The Phone Call wins. Donut story dies on its arse. But Jason and Kerry hang around to hand out Documentary Short - to Crisis Hotline: Veterans Press 1 (what's with all these phone lines??)

"Takes a lot of balls to wear a dress like that!"

Viola Davis is here to recall the Governor's Awards from last November - but we knew about those already. 

Neil is now taking on the Brits - on Oyellowo - "Sure, now you like him!" - even slams Annie.

Then Gwynnie comes on to introduce the song from Glenn Campbell's movie, sadly not performed by Glenn Campbell but by Tim McGraw. Nice respectful take on heartbreaking number.

Neil does his tighty whities Birdman gag to huge applause - and then berates Miles Teller. Not his tempo! Then gets Teller and Margot Robbie to recount their presenting of the science and tecnology awards a few weeks prior. Come on, let's get back to tonight!

Sienna Miller and Chris Evans are here to hand out Sound Mixing. A telling one - will show how much love Birdman has in the room. Or even Whiplash - and the Oscar goes to Whiplash (bring on editing as well!)

Quickly followed by Sound Editing - American Sniper. Let's hope this is its only win of the night.

And they're back to teasing us with the biggies - Best Supoorting Actress, with Patricia Arquette presumed to be a (deserved) lock. But here comes a very blue Jared Leto with a decent Meryl Streep gag. But we know it's Patricia's night...and the winner is...Patricia Arquette. And you can't argue with that. Although her speech went places - an impassioned plea for equal pay certainly had Meryl up on her feet. And put a huge smile on the faces of Hawke and Linklater.

Josh Hutcherson introduces Rita Ora singing Grateful from Beyond the Lights - toilet break!

Chloe Moretz and the charisma vaccum that is Ansel Elgort are here for VFX - which we all know should go to Dawn of the Apes, but instead goes to...Interstellar. Not bad, but could do better.

Kevin Hart (bad outfit) and Anna Kendrick are here to do short jokes about animated shorts, or "cartoons", as they used to be known. And the Oscar goes to Feast.

Lego Movie gag preceeds Zoe Saldana and the Rock showing up for the main feature in terms of Best Animated Feature Film, and hand the golden chappie to Big Hero 6. 

Academy Pres Cheryl Boone Isaacs is here to"celebrate the power of film as a universal language," to honour filmmakers who "cross boundaries" - and yet you still nominate Theory of Everything? 

Neil's box jokes are continuing to fall flat...pull something out of the hat squire. 

Chris Pratt and Felicity Jones are here to hand Production Deisgn to...Grand Budapest - really, this is a no brainer. And the Award goes to ...Grand Budapest. Of course it bloody does. And Wes owns the night.

Jessica Chastain and Idris Elba are on stage to give Best Cinematography to Emmanuel Lubezki - is it us or is tonight just becoming more and more ridicuously predictable. And dull - except here we are happy. Two years in a row for the amazing, groundbreaking work that Lubezki is doing. A truly worthwile winner.

Meryl Streep is here - not to pick up for once, but to give back. Here's the Immerorium montage, - nicely understated; then accompanied by Jennifer Hudson - overstated. 

Naomi Watts is teamed with Sherlock Bandicoot to present the Award for Editing. (Bandicoot says "Arses"!) We called Whiplash, but we're quietly hoping for Boyhood - but it's Whiplash and Tom Cross. Still, a very deserving win. Three now for Whiplash - the little film that could. And did! Good on it. Is this as far as it goes tonight? (Probably.)

Terrence Howard proves why he was fired from Iron Man by blowing his intros for Whiplash, Imitation Game and Selma - almost breaking the mic during his botched moment in the sun. Cut to clips and get him off - damn quick! Even Oprah looked lost!

Neil introduces the two who weren't nominated - conveniently brought together in the one place - to present Best Doc to Citizenfour. Good to see the US embracing their "traitor" Edward Snowden.

Neil almost gets it back with Edward Snowdedn not being able to be there "for some treason." Cute. But you haven't really swung it. Is someone currently calling Ellen DeGeneres? (Or better still - Fey and Poehler?)

Octavia Spencer takes her eye off Neil's box to introduce Selma's Glory with Legend and Common. Bound to win - but isn't it just so profoundly ordinary???

Neil introduces Idina Menzel with a great Travolta/Sherlock Bandiccot gag- and then it's the God that is Travolta himself. Here to do Best Orignal Song - she takes the lead in case John fucks the names up - we (sadly) know where this is going. It's Glory - we were bored. Now we're really bored.

Scarlett Johansson is here to completely randomy talk aout The Sound of Music and then introduces Lady Gaga to do a Julie Andrews medley. Neil said this was a moment we'd all be talking about tomorrow morning. He's right - as in what? Why? How? And WTF?? Well, at least we're not bored anymore. Just deeply, deeply confused.

Then Julie Andrews shows up with an envelope for an "I'm still here" ovation. Was that really the point??  Best Music - will Alexander Desplat beat himself? Yes - the Wes runaway continues. We love Mr Desplat - incredibly proflific and always up to snuff. 8 noms in and the man finally wins - for Grand Budapest. Great win.

Eddie Murphy shows up to do his Bill Cosby. Oh no, hang on, he's being serious and is about to give Wes yet another award for Best Original Screenplay...oh no, it's gone off piste and Birdman wins it. Does this mean Best Picture is now a lock?? Michael Keaton is the "maestros of meastors" - but he's still chewing gum. It's not a good look Micahel, stick it under your seat.

Oprah takes the spotlight for Best Adapated Screenplay which goes to Graham Moore for The Imtation Game - its only likely win of the night now. And we called it. Moore gives a nice speech about Turing though - very heartfelt "stay weird, stay different."

And already running seriously overtime, we're down to the last four.

Neil introduces Batfleck to hand over Best Director (something he was never even nominated for) to either the Bird or the Boy. Must be tough Ben to have it so close - and it goes to Alejandro G. Inarritu who talks about that "little prick called ego." Does this mean Linklater has been shut out? (Last year a Mexican won director and lost picture - is the split going the other way ronight?? We'll see.)

Best Actor is next and if they give it to that fellah in the wheelchair we may well scream. Cate Blanchett should hand it to Keaton but...she gives the genital free bloke to...and there is no God. The wheelchair wins. (Nice speech though.)

And then Best Actress goes to another deserving but very obvious disability peformance (really people, can't you look beynd these things??) Julianne Moore - a fine actess in a very average film. McConaughey does the honours.  

And then Neil precludes the final award of the night by flogging the dead horse that is his Oscar predictions in a box bit - and it works. 

And then Sean Penn shows up for Best Picture - and the winner is Birdman. Sad for Boyhood. Happy for the Bird.

(Disappointed by Neil.)

 

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